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I don't check LJ very often these days, but lately I've been actively avoiding it. When the rape happened I made a concerted effort to not remember the date. I didn't want it to become yet another awful anniversary every year. But now I know that it's coming up to 12 months and I need to know. But I'm scared to know. 

I've been increasingly filled with terror at the impending autumn and winter. Too many awful associations. Lots of suicidal thoughts - can't bear another christmas. 

Ok I've looked. It was the 22nd. My first post here was the 24th, and the assault had happened 2 days earlier. Next Thursday, then.

Well, at least I know now.
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Posted on 16th Sep, 2011 at 13:13 | | Leave a comment | 5 comments | Add to Memories | Share

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[info]rotting_angel

Make it into a good thing. Do something nice for yourself. Pamper yourself or something. :) Go to a spa day. Get your hair or nails done. Go shopping and buy yourself something special. Go to dinner or lunch with someone you love and trust. Anything. Just don't llet it ruin you. Your strong. You can do it.
Posted on 16th Sep, 2011 12:39 (UTC) | | Thread | Reply

[info]tinceiri

Just talk. Just talk, I dunno how to explain it. It does help.
Posted on 4th Oct, 2011 06:43 (UTC) | | Thread | Reply

[info]tinceiri

I'm not trying to be obsessive with this, but it sounds like you could use a friend. I would be more than happy to talk to you about Autumn and Winter. You would be helping me just as much as I would be helping you - probably moreso, honestly.
Posted on 9th Oct, 2011 06:36 (UTC) | | Parent | Thread | Reply

[info]victimstatus

Thank you. I fell apart there for a while, and went to stay with a friend for a few weeks. She doesn't know what happened but I do have a counselor now.
Posted on 5th Nov, 2011 20:42 (UTC) | | Parent | Thread | Reply

[info]tinceiri

There is safet in staying with someone that doesn't know. Trust me on this.
Posted on 10th Nov, 2011 07:16 (UTC) | | Parent | Thread | Reply