victimstatus (victimstatus) wrote,
victimstatus
victimstatus

 It won't go away, it's all I can think about. Again. Well that, and dying.

I hoped that by doing the 'right' things and telling a few people almost straight away, that I would be able to shake this thing off quickly, but 8 and a bit months later he's infecting my whole existence.

I don't want it to be the thing that kills me. The thing that provokes my suicide. And I'm doing everything I can to avoid that, but the pull is so strong.

A few people know, I have some support, I'm doing everything I can. I don't want to let the bastard take me over again. He doesn't deserve to be the reason I die, and if only for that reason I'm determined not to do it. But the desire is so strong.

But I'm holding onto the determination to beat this, too.
Tags: rape, suicide
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