victimstatus (victimstatus) wrote,

I don't check LJ very often these days, but lately I've been actively avoiding it. When the rape happened I made a concerted effort to not remember the date. I didn't want it to become yet another awful anniversary every year. But now I know that it's coming up to 12 months and I need to know. But I'm scared to know. 

I've been increasingly filled with terror at the impending autumn and winter. Too many awful associations. Lots of suicidal thoughts - can't bear another christmas. 

Ok I've looked. It was the 22nd. My first post here was the 24th, and the assault had happened 2 days earlier. Next Thursday, then.

Well, at least I know now.
Tags: rape

  • (no subject)

    “People always talk about how hard it can be to remember things - where they left their keys, or the name of an acquaintance - but no one ever…

  • (no subject)

    I finally got an appointment with Rape Crisis today. Nearly 2.5 years since the rape, maybe it's time to stop avoiding talking about it.

  • Trigger warning.

    My stupid vulva has torn again. No stimulation at all, it just tore. It's so hard to NOT think about being raped when, 10 months on, the body part…

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